I don’t have much to say.
Blogs aren’t fun unless you have some kind of drama going on in your life, which my life is pretty chill 90% of the time :/

You’re trying to control my life. You try and tell me what’s right and wrong. You can’t fucking influence me like that. What I do is MY choice. Leave me alone, worry about your own life. You abused perscriptions, I use weed. Those are two different types of drugs, don’t even tell me the have the same effect. You don’t know, quit acting like you know. Just because you’re nineteen and THINK you know everything you don’t. Get back to reality already. It’s physically impossible to get addicted to weed. Mentally, it is possible. But do I act like an addict? No. Do I sacrifice every ounce of money I receieve towards weed? No. Just because I like to smoke weed, and do it often, doesn’t giveyou the right to say I’m addicted and that weed is my life. You only know what I tell you, which isn’t a whole lot since you really don’t give a shit half the time I tell you. I’ve secluded myself from telling you nearly everything.

You think sex is my life too, says the man who’s almost never had sex. I love Tre’, and having sex has never made me feel so close to him. Of course, you’ll just say “He’s using you” but do you know him Rob? Really? Do you know half of the things he’s been through? He wouldn’t use me. Get to know him before you judge him. I hate that. Why are you so confident we won’t last? Are you really that jealous that you’ve convinced yourself we’re going to break up? We aren’t Rob, and never will. You’re just pissed I’ve lasted in longer relationships than you.

You think it’s stupid to take college courses now, and get the credits towards college now,  to be able to party later. How would you know if it’s stupid? YOU DON’T FUCKING GO TO COLLEGE. Go to college then tell me it’s stupid.I’m not like you Rob. I like to have fun at parties. I’m sorry I’m not a fucking loser and sit on my ass all day and don’t go anywhere.

You say I’ve changed. How? I’m the same person I was in August, I’m the same person I was in January. So what if I do drugs? Many people do Rob. You can’t conclude that I’ve changed just because I’ve tried shit. I’d never know if I didn’t try. Unlike you, who’s so fucking afraid of doing…anything really. Look where you are.You say I’ve sided with Tre’? How? What situation has there been that I’ve had to pick between you or him? None.

I’ve got a life, a damn good one with a lot of laughs, and memories. What do you have? What are you so afraid of?

I love him to death; I never want to leave him.
I’m so lucky to have a boyfriend like him.

Sincerely, Alexis.

Pick your birth month.
- Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you.
- Bold the five-ten that best apply to you.
- Copy to your own wordpress, with all twelve months under a more tag.

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation ??. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical

Her name’s Savannah, the girl Tre’ had prior relations with before me, had announced she was pregnant with Tre’s child, and the girl who thinks she can scare me.

So while I spent a sleepless night online as usual, around 2AM she messages me, wanting to start a random conversation. I wasn’t sure where she was heading with this, but I went along. Then she mentioned being pregnant, which these allegations have been cleared and proven to be false by her mother.  Deciding to be witty, I asked “You mean the non-existant baby? ROFL.” This of course, set her off apparently and thus created a downward spiral of words being thrown around.

I’m so sorry for assuming she even had some kind of intelligance level, because everything I said as a comeback she didn’t seem to understand. Nor did she understand my hidden sarcasm when I made fun of her grammar skillz. Although, what seemed to surprise me the most is when she’s threatened she can actually type properly, and understand basic human language like “Stay the fuck away,” and “Fuck off, or you’ll get your ass kicked.”

All in all I wasted my time on something for two hours and finally called it a night around 4AM.

Sincerely, Alexis.

There wasn’t anything physically wrong with the story, I just had a few words mixed up and had to change some things to the past tense since this issue of the newspaper is coming out after the dance, and that’s what I’m writing about.

You know, I wasn’t too confident when I first picked to write about Snowcoming, but as the ideas naturally flowed it became much easier to produce a nice story that wasn’t too wordy, or boring. I suppose writing just comes naturally for me.

Now that that minor rant is done with, I can move on to other things. Tre’ and I are back together and this is just something I’ve never been so sure about. I feel like I can say I love him, but of course people will counter that with the oh-so famous line “You don’t know what love is.” Neither do you because love has tons of definitions.

Weed. I was thinking long about this and I hate it when people look down on someone for smoking weed. I also hate it when people say it’s bad for you. How would you know? You’ve never tried it, or probably even done research on it. Collect both sides of evidence before you spout shit off.

Lily Allen. I’ve come across this artist in Spin magazine while in study hall today. Previously, I’d only listened to her song LDN which was one of them that made her famous. She speaks her mind and says basically whatever the fuck she wants, despite what the media says. I admire her, because if I could say whatever I wanted, and when I wanted, I’d be the most hated person alive. She definately goes into my book of lyrical geniuses alongside Dallas Green.

When people ask me “Who are you?” I want to reply, “I don’t know.” but if I said that to every single person I’ve met they’d call me crazy. So I respond, “Alexis.” But am I really that girl? That girl who was supposed to have a straightedge life, who wanted to accomplish goals, and create friendships? No, I’m someone completely different then a year ago. I don’t know if this is a good thing or bad thing. I’ll never know who I am, and it’s better this way.

“i hate when i think.
when i think, i write.
when i write half of it doesn’t make sense.
my mind written in words is a jumbled up mess
that is never to be translated except by the author
herself. a numb realization of the facts of everyday life.
i’m trying to be someone i cannot.
yet i write as if i’m determined.
or just crazy in the head. the dreams and ambitions
of a young teen that seem impossible.
impossible made possible.
by me.”

“It’s like they’ll always have a place in your heart, because they’ve impacted your life
in a way you know no one else can. But you know, you can’t love them anymore
because no matter how many times you get back with that person things are always
different. You can be happy, but in the back of your mind you’re afraid of getting fucked over
again. That’s why I’ve given up on him. I’ll always love him, and he’ll always have a place
but things aren’t going to go back to the way they were. Never again.

My uncle talking about my aunt made me think about this. I really wanted to just give him”

august 12th, 2008 was the day i decided i wanted to become a psychologist.

“We never know what we want.
But we’ll take what we can.”

…a lot of things were painful to read.